BSMM.
31 of us.
1 heart.
1 spirit.
1 sound.
1 aim.
1 hope.

Yet, we lost.
To the judges.
I can't accept the fact that we actually lost to THEM.

Before the champion is announced,
I was still hoping that we could win.
Some of the others who are not PBSM also cheered for us.

My heart stop beating,
The atmosphere becomes awkward for a while,
When their skuad was announced as the champion instead of us.
It's not that I think we must win,
But we really did our very best and it's almost perfect.

I control myself,
Not to let the tears flow out of my eyes.
But I couldn't help it,
When our commander leaded us Sambarei.

I was thinking,
Were we really worse than them?
My mind told me NO.
I was trying to register myself that they are the champion,
But my mind refuse to.
It tells me that we deserve to win.

It's not anyone's fault.
We can't blame anyone,
Something must have went wrong.
There's never fair in this world.

The only thing we can do is,
Take this as an experience,
Never underestimate any skuads,
Go through this pain,
Do better next year,
And prove to the judges that they were wrong about us.

3 months of practice,
Under the sun,
Full with tears and laughters,
Knowing each other more and feel the togetherness in us,
Sweat like no one's business everyday,
Apply sunblock over and over again,
Made all 31 of us become tanned,
That the others can recognize who are the ones were joining kawad.

Seeing people who are not PBSM posting and commenting posts on Facebook,
Supporting us that we should have won the whole thing,
Made me cried again.
Everyone was telling us that we deserve that,
Even some others who did not witness it.

Youtube PBSM Kawad Video,
Was being reposted all around Facebook.
I replayed it again and again,
Watching how good did we perform,
Flashbacks about how hard did we trained for the past 3 months,
Made me cried another time.

Facebook PBSM Kawad group,
Seeing everyone's posts to comfort each other and how unfair it is.
I am one of them to comfort them too,
But it just couldn't help to comfort myself.
Yet,
I cried once again.

I'm sorry,
I can't recover the pain in one day.
I'm sorry,
we didn't get the trophy.
I'm sorry,
we failed your wish.

Seriously,
I don't like this kind of feeling.
The feeling of losing a competition that we actually did well.
I know that there's only one winner in every competition.
But well,
This is really unexpected.
Seriously 'amat mengejutkan'.

We just need time,
To go through this pain.
To accept the fact that we lost.
To accept the fact that they won.
We can't do anything by now.

Nowadays,
I feel really uncomfortable if I don't walk with my hands swing high,
Legs V shape and tangan genggam while singing Negaraku,
Hand spring while ikrar.
I really need time to get used without kawad.
It's a part of my high school life.

Went to school and some of my friends were telling me,
How great did we did,
And how that should be ours.
I seriously don't know what to react.
Just gave them a smile,
And thanks for supporting us.

Thanks for the 3 months of sacrifices.
Sorry for my wrongdoings within these 3 months.
You really did well your roll as a commander.
* Hormat! *

And thank you to those who comforted me and supporting us. :)

I am happy and pleased enough,
That we actually won the audience heart.
I can hear many people cheering for us while it's our turn.
Yeah, basically,
WE WON.
I'm proud to say that.

Labels: March.